Mamas, Make Yourself a Priority

0

Completely Burned Out

As mothers in this day and age, we are pulled here, there, and everywhere. It’s easy for our individual needs and desires to naturally fall on the back burner. Sadly, many times, we don’t even realize how bad it’s gotten. We are constantly trying to be everyone’s everything, and we’re bound to hit periods of burnout.

Making the Realization

I realized that it was time for a reset once I noticed just how many days of burnout I had experienced. It felt like pretty much every day. Granted, we did have a busy summer, but that aside, I was not doing enough to prioritize my mental or physical health. Due to our “busyness,” I almost felt guilty prioritizing myself. I believed there were other more important priorities to cross off the never-ending to-do list.

In order for your children to get the best of you, you HAVE to pour into yourself. Empowered mamas make balanced, happy kiddos (easier said than done, but worth the effort).

I always think of the airplane oxygen mask analogy: you have to administer your oxygen mask first so you have airflow to have the ability to administer your child’s oxygen. You have to pour into yourself first in order to be overflowing to pour into your family as well.

Making a Plan

If you’re like me, you get overwhelmed by the initial jump. I get anxious trying to figure out why I’m feeling a certain way and what I need to do to move forward positively. (I blame toddlerhood for my brain fog). Reflecting on the intentions I set a couple of months ago, I compiled a process to figure out what I needed, why I needed it, and how to move forward. I’m no expert by any means, and I do not have it all figured out! I still struggle daily.

Making Yourself a Priority 

When I’m too emotionally overwhelmed to know where to begin, short lists that I can cross off help me so much. Making the decision to reprioritize your life feels like a lot to tackle, but it’s so important. And reprioritizing to pour more into your mental/spiritual/physical/emotional health should never make you feel guilty. Additionally, you don’t need to wait until the start of the school year or New Year’s Day to begin afresh. Your refresh can begin right here, right now.

I made myself a priority every day for six weeks, and here’s what I learned:

Identify when you are feeling “burned out” (whether it’s a daily feeling or a season), and try to determine why.

This is often the most difficult step. We tend to remain in denial due to our prioritization of everything around us. We are chefs, personal assistants for multiple people, cab drivers, cheerleaders, nurses, and teachers. We “do it all” in addition to our duties with work and home. It can be all-consuming.

As I reflected, I noticed I hit that burned out feeling at the same time each day. I also realized that this wasn’t just a complicated season for me. Once I made this realization, I was able to restructure parts of my day to hedge against my chronic 6:00 p.m. dinner-bath-bedtime power-hour-routine burnout. One way I restructured my day included moving my nightly workout time to the mornings to optimize feelings of productivity.

Figure out what helps you recharge and schedule intentional time blocks to do these (even if that means fitting a block into a pre-existing block).

Taking a small chunk of time each day for self-reflection — even if it’s just five minutes before bed to make a bullet point list or purposeful thought time while driving — will help during a time of burn out. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate: just optimize the time you already have in a purposeful way.

Much of my recent journey produced physical changes and results for me. I made difficult decisions and worked hard over the past couple of months (and continue to do so). However, these tangible external results are an outward representation of the changes I’ve worked hard to create and establish inwardly. Prioritizing nutrition to fuel my body the way it needs, coupled with moving my body every day, helps to make me feel most productive and empowered. When I can make these a priority in my day, it ultimately helps me to be the best version of myself for those around me.

Some days my recharger looks like tight, clean nutrition and exercise. Other days it looks like blasting Lizzo through my headphones as I fold laundry during nap time like the cool mom that I am. To each her own, I suppose.

Self-care is often viewed as glamorous or a feel-good activity, but the reality is that sometimes self-care involves making hard decisions that are for your greater good.

Every woman loves the sound of a weekend away on a beach somewhere, but retreats like that are not always realistic or functional. We need to choose intentionality and make little shifts. Those little intentional shifts are ultimately what makes the biggest difference.

Once you find a schedule or routine that works, keep fitting your rechargers into your daily life, and do not give up!

Why? Because recharging and making yourself a priority ultimately makes you a more fulfilled, satisfied, and empowered mom. This in turn benefits everyone in your family. We have too much on our backs these days, and sometimes it feels like the bough could break at any moment.

Breathe, analyze, and execute.

Making the Decision to Prioritize Yourself

It sounds like a process because it is. Prioritizing is a process. But that doesn’t make it lame or a drag. Intentionality is important for growth and fulfillment.

Restructuring will look different for every woman. Sometimes it involves adding something in, cutting something out, or just switching up the pre-existing order. Whatever decisions you need to make, you’re not alone, mama. It is my hope that you will dismiss any guilt you may feel about prioritizing yourself. You are just as valuable as everyone else in your home. It is powerful to watch this generation of mothers rise up into a new era of healthy, positive self-talk and self-love. We are multi-faceted, and that is our strength. Our children deserve to see mothers fulfilled in who they are as a person, not simply as a mother. 

How about you? What does self-care look like for you? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below!

Previous articleWhy We Need Unplugged Slumber Parties
Next articleWhen All You Have is Not Enough
Audra S
Audra Smith did not spend her childhood in Alabama, but got down here as fast as she could! Originally from Ohio, Audra met and married her husband (of nearly 6 years now), Brian, while in college, and they decided to move to Alabama on a whim a year after graduation, resulting in the best decision ever made. She graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Family Studies/Child Development. Audra spent the first few years after the move working for The University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa within Early Childhood Education. After years of working in close proximity to Big Al, it’s safe to say now that she is a faithful Tide fan. Audra is an Army National Guard wife due to Brian’s military service and dedication to the great state of Alabama and our country. After enduring years of infertility, Audra and Brian were miraculously blessed with their daughter Nora Jo, who was born in March 2018 in the heart of Birmingham. Audra now resides in the Chelsea area (Sterrett) with her husband Brian, daughter Nora Jo, and living security system (lab/hound mix) Hamilton. When she’s not wrangling and chasing after a spunky toddler, Audra enjoys a good book, just about a million cups of coffee a day, embracing/celebrating the wild ride of postpartum, any DIY crafty project, and being on the water. She initially went to college for Vocal Music, and still enjoys music and singing very much as an outlet (even if she’s mostly singing “Baby Shark” these days.) Audra is passionate about raising awareness for Type 1 Diabetes, as she lives with this disease every day. Audra is currently a stay at home mom who makes it a priority to cultivate side projects related to her passions. She enjoys connecting with other mamas, women, and anyone who needs someone to talk to. Instagram has become a virtual tribe for her, and if you’d like to participate, head on over to @audrashoupesmith whenever you need a dose of “real life.”