Takin’ one for the team! That was my motto when it came to getting my tubes tied (or tubal ligation, if you want to get technical). It was long understood (by me, at least!) that when we were finished having kids, of course my husband would be the one getting snipped. After all, I’ve gone through over twenty years of horrible bloating and cramps every single month, I’ve undergone endometriosis surgery, I’ve carried the babies, birthed the babies, nursed the babies . . . I think I deserved a break, right?!
Well, two months before our last baby was due, our insurance benefits changed drastically. Delivering a baby this time was going to cost us thousands more out of pocket. Gasp! Then tack on the fact I ended up having a c-section that time around with a longer hospital stay . . . clearly, I met my personal out-of-pocket deductible for the year. So, instead of paying a couple thousand dollars for my husband to get a vasectomy, I decided to take one for the team and get my tubes tied — since it would be “free”. And I wanted new kitchen floors. Oh, the things that motivate us! I also told my husband if I was doing this, I wanted a “weekend off” — no kids whining for me, no diapers, no giving anyone a bath — nada! I wanted to read magazines in bed all weekend. Deal.
The night before the procedure, we dropped the kids off at my sister’s house to spend the night and had a wonderful date night, just the two of us. I was the third surgery on the docket, so we figured eh, an hour prep, hour surgery, quick recovery, and my husband could relieve my sister by lunchtime the next day.
This Could Only Happen to Me!
We arrived bright and early to the hospital and waited in the waiting room. We even saw my ob/gyn walk by and greet me by name. Soon after, I was called back to get prepped while my husband stayed in the waiting room. I peed in the cup (not pregnant — yay!), got the IV administered, and the nurse said she’d bring me a warm blanket. She never returned. I tried to just take it easy, but it’s hard sitting in a pre-op room all alone, without my beloved husband (or phone!), in a hospital gown, no blanket, cold, bored . . . and starting to get hungry! I hadn’t eaten since 9:00 p.m. the night before. And then I realized, hmmm . . . it’s been awhile. So I waited. And waited. Had they forgotten about me?
Then walked in another doctor in the practice. He prefaced with, “When you come in for a scheduled surgery, it’s a little different than coming in to deliver a baby. Whoever is on call will deliver your baby. But you see, the doctor scheduled for your surgery today is in the ER with a concussion.” I actually almost laughed because I thought he was joking (blame it on my hunger pangs at this point!) And, hello! I’d seen him only an hour prior in the waiting room. Then he continued with some specific details, and I was like, “Ohhhhh my gosh. He’s not joking!”
So . . . what are we gonna do here? My husband had taken a vacation day, my sister had already spent a crazy night with two extra crazy kids at her house, I was already prepped, starving, and also afraid I’d change my mind completely about the tubal ligation if I didn’t go ahead and have it. (And, before you think I’m totally heartless — I did ask all about my dear ob/gyn’s health!! He’s seriously the best, and I was sincerely worried!)
I asked the new doctor if anyone else could still do my surgery because, as he said, I had all my “mama ducks in a row.” He said he’d go check. He came back and said it was a go! We’d be a little behind schedule, but he had capacity to do it. Y’all. My ob/gyn group is SERIOUSLY the best. I freakin’ love them! Makes me want another baby just to keep seeing them all the time. I kid. But they’re literally THAT great!
Tied Up With A Pretty Bow
Next thing I know, I’m in recovery with a teeny tiny incision in my belly button, covered by a bandage. Easy peasy. This is no longer your mama’s tubal ligation surgery! I was discharged to go home and rest. I took two ibuprofen and called it a weekend to myself! Then I was back on the treadmill that next week. It really wasn’t bad at all. Maybe it was because I’d had a c-section seven months prior that any abdomen-related pain was a breeze . . . but it wasn’t bad at all. Highly recommend!
Any other moms have an entertaining permanent birth control story?? Ha!