I work in a field where headshots are a necessity. And I honestly feel like updating your headshot every five years should be a requirement. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed to recognize someone because they look NOTHING like their photo.
I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed as part of a featured section in one of the local news publications. A photographer came and took pictures for the spread, and I thought nothing of it. A few weeks before the publication was set to go to print, I received a draft version of my page. I didn’t recognize myself. The photo was so edited, so softened, and so NOT ME.
My initial reaction was anger. I mean, did the photographer think that I looked old? Did she think that I’d appreciate her smoothing every last line on my face? If she was in the business of editing, why didn’t she tackle the horrible hair day I was having instead? I contacted the publication and told them that I wanted my photo unedited. They were welcome to play with the lighting to make it look better for print, but that my face was just that – MINE. I didn’t need to be made to look younger. I earned the 11 years I’d been in the business and had no issues looking my age. I’m good with 37 and don’t need to re-live 27 anytime soon, thanks.
They did undo the editing and the piece went to press with a much truer version of me. But, it got me to thinking, Is this what we’ve become? Have we gone so far down the “filter” trail, that we can’t stand the sight of an unedited photo? Why would we want others to be fooled by a filter, an airbrush, or a Photoshop tool only to be thrown off when they actually meet us?
What the heck is wrong with how we actually look?
I totally get that we’ve been doing this since the 80’s, if not longer. We all remember Glamour Shots (kudos if you still have yours). But is it necessary? Why can’t we just look like we do? What example am I setting for my daughter by telling her that Mommy can’t post a pic because it’s not pretty enough? Are we raising a generation of people who can’t let a photo be a photo?
I have an entire Pinterest board devoted to aging gracefully. It’s filled with women in the Silver Season of life, who are absolutely beautiful inside and out. They have wrinkles. They have gray hair. And yet, they look amazing. I wonder how the photos of each would look had they been edited to remove lines and wrinkles. They’d be void of feeling. They’d be missing the street cred that those lines and wrinkles give these gorgeous women. When you look at a photo of an 80 year old, you shouldn’t see a 20 or 30 year old. No. That’s just wrong.
You should see lines, wrinkles and a life that’s been lived.
So, how about this? Instead of obsessing over making ourselves look younger in photos, why not focus on looking HAPPY? THAT’S the example our children need from us. You’d be amazed at what a smile can do for you. It hides bags, sagging, and all of life’s concerns. The next time you take a picture and think, I’ll need to soften my face before I post it to social media, think again. You are beautiful, my friend. Be okay with you and how you look — with makeup and without — in your rawest form.
Work on being happy instead of being a picture-perfect mom. Happiness doesn’t need a filter, no matter how old you are.