It’s official. I’ve been dropped off at the Step-Parenting Gauntlet against my will. All my naivety is out the door! Emotions have boiled over, feelings have made themselves very known, and I’m standing here like, “Can I get a map or directions on how to find my way through this new place?” To all the step-parents out there: Cheers, Friends! I can totally sympathize with you and your “bad guy” status. My question is this … Is there any other way to get through this new gauntlet besides telling yourself, “It’ll be A-okay in about 10 years?” Insert all the cry-face emojis here. And all the wine glasses too! Except I’m pregnant, so insert taco, cake, and hamburger emojis instead.
I’m only at the tip of the step-parenting iceberg, and the foreseeable future is looking rough, y’all. Like Titanic-sinking-rough and I’m the Titanic. I know that no matter how fun I try to be or how understanding I am, I will be the unwelcome outsider for some time. I’m smiling and pushing my way through the obstacles, but I’m not gonna lie and say it’s been easy. I have no training, so I’m running this gauntlet in the worst shape … dehydrated … and lost. There’s also a wall that I can’t seem to break down. On the other side is my Bonus Daughter. She’s double reinforced this wall and I ain’t gettin’ through.
Here’s one thing I have going for me: I am determined. I will chip away at that wall through the tears, through the exhaustion, through all the words that seem to be made of knives. And I’ll still appear on the other side of that wall beaten and bruised with a sign that says, “I’m on your side! I love you, Kiddo!”
Note to self: Find a Delorean salesman so you can get to the future ASAP! I know that’s not going to happen, so I’ll be trudging through this gauntlet with my chin up, even if it feels like I can’t. I’ll be pulling hope and strength from all the under-appreciated, overly-blamed step-parents before me (my step-dad included), and I’ll make it through.
It may take years, but one day, I’ll be waving from the other end of the gauntlet with a (big) glass of wine in one hand and my step-daughter’s hand in the other. It’s a beautiful thought and that makes it worth it. Before I forget, anyone got a wrecking ball I can borrow for that wall? Ya know, to speed up the process.
