Babywearing 101 :: Why You Can’t Spoil Your Baby by Wearing Her

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Being a new mom can be overwhelming. You are met with unwanted advice and criticism from every person you encounter. There are countless product recommendations, infomercials, and registry guides to consider — how the heck are you supposed to know which bottle is best or why organic cotton towels are necessary?! Add to that the stress of getting out of the house, the fight you have with the stroller every time you pull it from your trunk, and the feeling that everyone in the restaurant is watching your first public nursing experience. It’s no wonder we second-guess every parenting decision we make.

Babywearing 101I don’t remember if there was a reason I didn’t wear my first two babies, but I’m sure it was some combination of those things — I didn’t have the energy to deal with complicated baby products, I was afraid of holding my baby too much, and the last thing I needed was the added stress of wrangling a squirmy baby with a strip of fabric while everyone nearby watched me struggle. Three babies and thirteen years later, I’m a lot more confident with my parenting decisions and I’m cooler under pressure. Here are some things I wish I had known all those years ago:

You can’t spoil your baby.

We’ve all heard some version of, “Don’t hold your babies too much, you’ll spoil them rotten!” Despite those countless reminders otherwise, you can’t spoil a newborn. Babies are born into an unfamiliar world with no context for what’s going on around them. As the parent of a newborn, it’s our job to prove ourselves trustworthy and reliable. We do this by responding to their cries, feeding them when they’re hungry, changing their dirty diapers, and holding them when they need us. Sometimes my daughter is fussy for no reason, and wearing her provides instant comfort and security.

Physical contact is so important.

I don’t consider myself a touchy-feely person, but when I’ve had a hard day or I’m feeling under the weather, a big hug from my husband can dramatically change my mood. That’s not a coincidence, it’s science. Physical contact can both lower stress hormones and boost “feel good” endorphins. In children and adults, the benefits of positive touch include a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, increased circulation, and a reduction of pain, stress, anxiety, and fatigue.  

Babywearing moms have happier babies.

Babywearing 101According to Babywearing International, babies who are worn by a parent or caregiver cry 43% less than those who aren’t. I don’t know about you, but I want a baby who cries less! 

It’s convenient!

I’ve found babywearing to be especially helpful during those hours between afternoon and evening, when almost every baby struggles to be settled. I’m trying to cook dinner, manage homework, and maintain my sanity, but that’s difficult when the baby’s crying for no obvious reason. I’ve learned that I can avoid the witching hour altogether if I start wearing the baby before it arrives. She’s happy to bounce around the house with me, and I have both hands free to tackle other responsibilities. 

People are less likely to touch your baby.

Whether it’s a large family function where you don’t want to pass the baby or a quick grocery trip, wearing your baby is likely to deter even the bravest stranger from touching your baby. I must be a target for strange encounters, but I can’t count the number of times a stranger rubbed my pregnant belly. As much as those moments made me cringe, the thought of a stranger touching my baby’s face was far worse. Babywearing at the grocery store always illicits a few compliments, but I’m happy to report it has eliminated the need to bathe her in hand-sanitizer after we get home.

Babywearing makes me a happier and more confident parent.

In order to get to know someone, you have to spend time with them. It stands to reason that the more time you spend with someone in close proximity, the more you’ll learn about them. Because I wear my daughter for a significant amount of time, I feel like I’m more in tune with her cues. It’s easier to recognize the difference between her hungry cry and her sad one. I can anticipate melt-downs because I feel her legs stiffen. I know it’s time for a nap when she nestles her head into the crook of my arm. Having her near me during all of these transitions helps me to recognize the smallest of changes in her mannerisms. Being able to consistently anticipate her needs makes me a more confident parent.

Babywearing might not be for everyone, but don’t let one bad experience discourage you. In addition to the bulky, structured carriers available with my first baby, there are plenty of less intimidating options. Although my husband prefers to wear her facing out in a traditional Baby Bjorn, I prefer having her face my body in a soft wrap or a ring-sling. They are so much fun to color coordinate with our outfits, and I find them much more comfortable to use. If you’re using a soft carrier with the baby facing towards your body, baby should be close enough to kiss, their knees should be higher than their bum and you should be able to see their mouth and nose. Now, go hold your baby!